People With Animal Heads

In tonight’s three-dimensional episode of People With Animal Heads …

Very few of who spent any time in Burlington, Vermont, knew about the Free Gentlemen’s Society of Exploratory Research and Reconnaissance. There were whispers, certainly, along with a handful of mysterious photographs and ciphered notes. “A joke,” the mayor called the society. “Nothing but a foolish legend and a waste of quiet reflection,” said the town librarian. When the youngest of the Free Gentlemen, Allan “Big Owl” Pemberton, passed into that good night in the winter of 1957, many of the organization’s secrets died with him. But when Big Owl’s only relation, a maiden half-sister from down south, unlocks a strongbox in the family crypt, Miss Malady Pemberton discovers a wealth of souvenirs, journals, and trophies that will forever change Vermont’s policies on secret societies, wealth, reproductive rights, and intermural fraud. To fully enjoy this episode, please use the 3-D glasses included in your complimentary weekly Key Foods circular.

(Source: universal-force)

If you can dream it, you can do it.

(Source: illegaluseofbuckets)

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Tonight, on People With Animal Heads …
The aliens told Dave that they didn’t know enough about Earthlings to know how he should act when stepping off their ship after having been taken aboard and vanishing from the face of the planet several years earlier, and that maybe he should think about what to do to help the aliens make a good first impression for their first official contact with Earth society. When they saw what he did, Pqqq’hrrbaiph slapped his forehead-analogue and said, “Just like that plaque we found on that probe! Why didn’t WE think of that?” Dave looked back and asked the aliens why small animals seemed to like him more now. Kmmn’phkhh’ryt did something best described as shrugging.

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Tonight, on People With Animal Heads …

The aliens told Dave that they didn’t know enough about Earthlings to know how he should act when stepping off their ship after having been taken aboard and vanishing from the face of the planet several years earlier, and that maybe he should think about what to do to help the aliens make a good first impression for their first official contact with Earth society. When they saw what he did, Pqqq’hrrbaiph slapped his forehead-analogue and said, “Just like that plaque we found on that probe! Why didn’t WE think of that?” Dave looked back and asked the aliens why small animals seemed to like him more now. Kmmn’phkhh’ryt did something best described as shrugging.

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Tonight, on People With Animal Heads …
Anne Matheson, hostess of the popular reality TV series Ghost Pursuers, leaves the studio and joins the team for a special episode at a purportedly haunted castle. What could possibly go wrong? Many things. Many things could possibly go wrong, and I daresay several will.

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Tonight, on People With Animal Heads …

Anne Matheson, hostess of the popular reality TV series Ghost Pursuers, leaves the studio and joins the team for a special episode at a purportedly haunted castle. What could possibly go wrong? Many things. Many things could possibly go wrong, and I daresay several will.

Franciszek Starowieyski via Erotic Art 

Part Two of a very special vacation edition of People With Animal Heads:

Veronica really wasn’t kidding when she changed her Facebook status to “It’s complicated.”

Franciszek Starowieyski via Erotic Art 

Part Two of a very special vacation edition of People With Animal Heads:

Veronica really wasn’t kidding when she changed her Facebook status to “It’s complicated.”

Today, on the vacation edition of People With Animal Heads:

Christian wore Shane’s raincoat for months after he left. It didn’t fit him right—that is to say, the hood didn’t fit over his rack—and it stopped smelling like Shane within a week, but it was an embrace of sorts, and the familiar tartan brought him comfort on grey days.

Today, on the vacation edition of People With Animal Heads:

Christian wore Shane’s raincoat for months after he left. It didn’t fit him right—that is to say, the hood didn’t fit over his rack—and it stopped smelling like Shane within a week, but it was an embrace of sorts, and the familiar tartan brought him comfort on grey days.

MÄrchenball, 1862 Franz Hanfstaengl
Tonight’s episode of People With Animal Heads is a comedic joyride!
Boris and Nikolai Berezovsky posed for Hanfstaengl at 20:57. Half-drunk on cordial when they should have been meeting their new neighbors, this was time ill spent, for at 21:35, Boris turned to his elder brother and said he’d taken ill. “You shouldn’t have eaten the fish, Boris,” said Nikolai. Only he said it in Russian.


MÄrchenball, 1862 
Franz Hanfstaengl

Tonight’s episode of People With Animal Heads is a comedic joyride!

Boris and Nikolai Berezovsky posed for Hanfstaengl at 20:57. Half-drunk on cordial when they should have been meeting their new neighbors, this was time ill spent, for at 21:35, Boris turned to his elder brother and said he’d taken ill. “You shouldn’t have eaten the fish, Boris,” said Nikolai. Only he said it in Russian.

Today, on People With Animal Heads:

Peggy Lou Whipple, stage name “Dotty Crest,” insisted on using the umbrella photo as her one-sheet. Shortly after, her agent stopped returning her phone calls. Back to public school, it was, then!

Today, on People With Animal Heads:

Peggy Lou Whipple, stage name “Dotty Crest,” insisted on using the umbrella photo as her one-sheet. Shortly after, her agent stopped returning her phone calls. Back to public school, it was, then!

Today, on People With Animal Heads:

Duke Albert Lawrence “Penny” Pennyfarthing wanted nothing to do with the “damned contraptions” that carried his name. “Death traps!” he was overhead saying. “Not to mention a load of codswallop.”

Today, on People With Animal Heads:

Duke Albert Lawrence “Penny” Pennyfarthing wanted nothing to do with the “damned contraptions” that carried his name. “Death traps!” he was overhead saying. “Not to mention a load of codswallop.”