People With Animal Heads was an American remake of Animals With Human Bodies, a television series that ran on late-night television in Uzbekistan, sometime in the 20th century.
Franciszek Starowieyski via Erotic Art
Part Two of a very special vacation edition of People With Animal Heads:
Veronica really wasn’t kidding when she changed her Facebook status to “It’s complicated.”
MÄrchenball, 1862 Franz Hanfstaengl
Boris and Nikolai Berezovsky posed for Hanfstaengl at 20:57. Half-drunk on cordial when they should have been meeting their new neighbors, this was time ill spent, for at 21:35, Boris turned to his elder brother and said he’d taken ill. “You shouldn’t have eaten the fish, Boris,” said Nikolai. Only he said it in Russian.
Today, on People With Animal Heads:
Peggy Lou Whipple, stage name “Dotty Crest,” insisted on using the umbrella photo as her one-sheet. Shortly after, her agent stopped returning her phone calls. Back to public school, it was, then!
(Gordon Wilding, The Bride, 2004)
Meanwhile, on People With Animal Heads:
Annette’s search for a viable veil proved fruitless, but, strangely, she had no problem securing a cheap wheeled tripod. Thanks, Postmodern Bride!
This morning, on People With Animal Heads:
Chauncey always walked past the park on his way to work. This morning, however, he stopped to sit by the lake. He was going to figure out what went wrong, by gum, even if it meant missing the 9 o’clock production meeting.
Today, on the vacation edition of People With Animal Heads:
Christian wore Shane’s raincoat for months after he left. It didn’t fit him right—that is to say, the hood didn’t fit over his rack—and it stopped smelling like Shane within a week, but it was an embrace of sorts, and the familiar tartan brought him comfort on grey days.
Today, on People With Animal Heads:
Duke Albert Lawrence “Penny” Pennyfarthing wanted nothing to do with the “damned contraptions” that carried his name. “Death traps!” he was overhead saying. “Not to mention a load of codswallop.”
Today, on People With Animal Heads, clockwise from top left:
- Reginald’s disguise as a Detroit Piston was believable, if only by virtue of his height and luggage. He moved quickly and purposely through the train station, praying that the sniffer crew wouldn’t catch the scent of rotting flesh coming from his bag (and breath).
- Lucinda and Terence said goodbye to the old country on their wedding day, swearing never to return. But when the blight came, their small fortune left, and they were forced to run crying home to momma.
- Lt. Broderick and “Corky” Jensen didn’t ask, and didn’t tell. Everyone remembers them as two guys who liked to share a smoke after a good meal, and mainly kept to themselves.
- Clyde Matheson trademarked the company name “Nucking Futs” in winter of ‘06, although it took him 10 years to actually turn his first crop of pecans. By then, his sciatica pain had turned him into a shell of his formerly optimistic self, and he rued the day he’d ever seen that bit of earth outside of San Jose.
Tonight, on People With Animal Heads:
Shortly after the portrait was finished, the vicar opened his garments to reveal a stylish button-down shirt. He howled, “It’s a Ben Sherman.”
